Why Won’t My Kid Sleep? Common Sleep Struggles and How to Fix Them

If your kid is a little insomniac, and you’re feeling the strain, know that you’re not alone. The American Academy of Pediatrics estimates that 25% to 50% of children and 40% of adolescents experience sleep difficulties. This means there are a lot of exhausted parents out there asking questions like “What to do when a child won't go to sleep?” and “How do I know if my child has a sleep disorder?”

No need to stress, parents—we’ve got you covered. This guide tackles big sleep questions like “How do I actually get my kid to sleep?” and “When should they be falling asleep on their own?” so both you and your little one can finally get some rest.

The Importance of Sleep for Kids (and Parents!)

You don’t need us to tell you that sleep is essential for both kids and parents. For children, it helps their brains and body develop and has a direct effect on alertness, mood, and memory. And for parents, caring for our kids, working, and fulfilling all our other duties is so much easier with a good night’s sleep.

Children need different amounts of sleep as they grow:

• Babies up to 3 months need 14-17 hours in a 24-hour period.
• Older babies up to 12 months need 12-16 hours.
• Toddlers from 1-2 years need 11-14 hours.
• Preschoolers from 3-5 years need 10-13 hours.
• School-age kids from 6-12 need 9-12 hours.
• Teens from 13-17 need 8-10 hours.

If your child doesn’t sleep the exact amount of hours listed for their age above? Don’t worry. Poppins’ pediatric expert Dr. Mona says, “Every kid is different. Sleep is a very personal thing and we look at total numbers as a big picture with other aspects of their behavior and development.”

So, how do you know if your kid is getting enough sleep? Lookout for these warning signs:

• Difficulty controlling their emotions
• Mood swings
• Daytime sleepiness
• Poor memory or spacing out 
• Poor problem-solving skills
• Increased risk of anxiety or emotional sensitivity

Get your child into a good bedtime routine from an early age so they are more likely to get good quality sleep and its benefits. Not sure how to start? A Poppins parenting coach can help!

Common Sleep Struggles and What Causes Them

“How do I get my child to stop fighting sleep?” is a common question from exhausted parents. Understanding why your kid is resisting sleep is the first step to finding a solution. Let’s take a look at some common sleep struggles that affect little ones:

Night Wakings

Few things are more frustrating than finally getting your kid to sleep, only for them to wake up two hours later. There are plenty of reasons for those middle-of-the-night wakeups:

• Hunger or thirst – Especially common in younger children or during growth spurts.
• Too hot or too cold
• Sleep regressions – Developmental leaps can temporarily disrupt sleep patterns.Room too bright or too noisy
• Nightmares or night terrors – Some kids experience vivid dreams that wake them up
• Inconsistent sleep routine – Irregular bedtimes or changes in routine can make it harder to stay asleep.
• Stress or sleep anxiety (yes, that’s a thing! It’s when bedtime becomes a battle because of nightmares, fears, or big life changes.)

When kids wake up in the middle of the night, their sleep cycle is disrupted, making it harder for them to settle back down. Over time, our goal is to help them learn to self-soothe and return to sleep with minimal assistance. The good news? You can set them up for success with a few simple strategies:

• Check their environment—cool, dark, and quiet is best.
• Try a soothing activity—a short bedtime story can help them relax.
• Use a nightlight—a soft glow can ease fears without keeping them too alert.

Middle-of-the-night wakeups are rough, but with the right tweaks, you can help them settle faster—and maybe even get some sleep yourself.

Early Risers

Some kids are just natural “morning people” (lucky for them, not so lucky for you). Here’s what to do to discourage those early wake-up calls:

• Adjust their bedtime. Try putting them to bed 30 minutes later night by night until you find a schedule that works for your kid.
• Limit nap times in the day. Later nap times can mean your kid has way too much energy at night. Cutting back on nap time can create the right balance for the sleep-in you’ve been dreaming of.
• Be firm. If your toddler insists on waking you up in the early hours, explain that morning isn’t morning until their clock says so. A sleep trainer clock can work wonders for this.

Stick with it, and soon enough, you might just get to sleep past 5 AM. (Maybe.)

Sleep Regression

One day, your kid is sleeping like a champ. The next? They’re suddenly fighting bedtime or waking up at all hours. This is sleep regression, and it’s totally normal, especially in babies. Sleep regressions can happen for all sorts of reasons, including illness, growth spurts, and routine changes.

But don’t panic just yet. Here are some tips to get your little one back on track:

• Stick to a solid bedtime routine. Consistency is key.
• Watch for sleep cues. Get them to bed before they hit overtired meltdown mode.
• Let them self-soothe. If they wake up at night, give them a chance to settle on their own before rushing in.

Sleep regressions are tough, but (thankfully) they don’t last forever—stay consistent, and your little one will get back into a rhythm soon!

Separation Anxiety

Some kids crave the comfort of having their parents close by at night—it’s totally normal. If your kid hates sleeping alone, here are some tips to help them feel more confident at bedtime:

• Stick to a regular bedtime routine. Predictability = security.
• Offer quick reassurance if they wake up. Comfort them briefly, but keep it low-key.
• Stay Consistent. Most episodes of nighttime separation anxiety in toddlers only last for 2-3 weeks, as long as you don’t start new habits you’ll regret (looking at you, co-sleeping).

With a little patience, they’ll learn that bedtime doesn’t have to mean full-scale separation drama.

The Connection Between Diet, Exercise, and Better Sleep

Want your kid to sleep better? Look at what they’re eating and how much they’re moving. Sleep, diet, and exercise are all deeply connected—get them in sync, and bedtime actually gets easier.

• Food matters. Studies tell us that children get better quality sleep when they have a healthy and varied diet. Ditch the ultra-processed food, and make sure your child gets a good balance of fruit, vegetables, proteins, and dairy products or fortified equivalents for minerals like calcium.
• Exercise is key. Physical activity has a positive effect on the quality of children’s sleep. The more they move, the better they sleep.
  
  • Ages 3–5: The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services recommends that caregivers encourage active play, aiming for at least 3 hours per day.
  • Ages 6–17: The CDC recommends at least 60 minutes of moderate to vigorous exercise daily.

Dr. Mona also advises that some children may need physical activity to release excess energy before bed, “this could be rough-housing or jumping—just make it part of the routine. But be mindful of overtiredness, which can often masquerade as hyperactivity.”

Basically? Well-fed, active kids = better sleepers. So let them run, climb, and play hard—bedtime will thank you for it.

Proven Strategies to Fix Sleep Struggles

“How to get a child to fall asleep on their own?” is another popular question from tired parents. Check out these strategies to help your child to fall asleep and stay asleep:

Consistent Bedtime Routine

A consistent bedtime routine means less waking up at night and better sleep quality. Create a bedtime routine with three to four activities (such as bath, bedtime story, and cuddle) and put them down while they’re sleepy but not fully asleep. This will help them learn to go to sleep on their own (so they don’t freak out if they wake up at 2 AM).

Dr. Mona also advises parents to consider their child’s temperament and sensory needs when developing a bedtime routine. Some kids are extra sensitive to their sleep environment—too much light, scratchy pajamas, or the wrong sounds can totally throw off their ability to settle down. Understanding their sensory needs can make bedtime way easier.

If you’re wondering, “Is there anything to help kids sleep?” or “What is a natural sleep aid for kids?”, try one of the following:

• Warm milk—classic for a reason.
• Epsom salt bath—soothes muscles, chills them out.
• Lavender mist—a light spritz on the pillow can help.

Finally, avoid screens at least one hour before bedtime. Blue light messes with melatonin, making it harder for their brains to shut down and turning “I’m not tired” into an all-night struggle.

According to Dr. Mona, “Bedtime routines should get shorter and easier as children age, not longer. As they grow, children should become more independent and you can be less involved in each phase.”

Age-Appropriate Sleep Schedule

As your child grows, their sleep schedules and wake windows will change, so it’s important to understand what’s appropriate at each stage. Check out the CDC guide to daily recommended hours of sleep.

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Sleep Training

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to sleep training, but around 4–6 months, you can start helping your little one learn to fall asleep on their own. Here are a few methods to try:

• Cry it out. Take your baby through their bedtime routine, and settle them down to sleep. If they cry, do not respond so that they learn to self-soothe. (Tough, but effective.)
• Check and console. Settle your little one down for bedtime. Return to their room after a few minutes (you don’t have to wait till they cry) to reassure them. Repeat at 15-minute intervals until they fall asleep.
• Fading. Stay in your child’s room until they fall asleep. But gradually move further away each night, making sure they can still see you, until they’re snoozing solo.

Every baby is different—pick a method that works for your family and stay consistent. The goal? Less rocking, bouncing, and pacing the floor at 2 AM.

Self-Soothing

Help your child to self-soothe by providing a cozy bedtime environment. Put them in their crib or bed when they are drowsy so that they associate it with sleep (not just your arms), and offer them a favorite stuffy or blanket for comfort.

Sleep Environment

A good sleep environment makes all the difference, so create one that will help your child settle. You can include the following features:

• Blackout curtains—Because early sunrises (and streetlights) should not be wake-up calls.
• Room temperature between 65 and 70 °F (18 to 21 °C)—Cool and comfy is best for deep sleep.
• White noise—Drowns out noisy siblings, barking dogs, and that one neighbor who always revs their engine at 6 AM.

 Get these in place, and bedtime just might get easier.

Tackling Bedtime Stalling

Some kids think of endless excuses to get out of bed, from requests for water to trips to the bathroom. The fix? Having a consistent bedtime routine in place can help reduce these attempts to sabotage bedtime.

When expectations are clear and consistent, there’s less room for “just one more” negotiations—and more actual sleep.

When to Worry: Sleep Problems That May Need Medical Attention

Rest assured, most kids eventually settle into a bedtime routine in their own time (even if it doesn’t feel like it right now). But if your child’s sleep issues aren’t improving, watch for these red flags:

• Loud snoring: Snoring may be a sign that they are experiencing sleep apnea, which causes lapses in breathing during sleep.
• Restless leg syndrome: Restless leg syndrome produces uncomfortable, crawling sensations in the legs that make it difficult to fall or stay asleep.
• Night terrors: Night terrors can cause your child to scream and appear distressed during sleep. While these are tough for you to witness as a parent, unlike nightmares, children tend to forget the experience by morning.

If you’re worried about these or any other sleep issues, reach out to your child’s pediatrician. The sooner you get answers, the sooner everyone can get some rest.

Final Thoughts: Helping Everyone Get the Sleep They Need

Going through sleep deprivation is one of the biggest challenges of parenthood. But rest assured that by being patient and consistent, you and your child can achieve a great night’s sleep.

Be sure to adapt your sleep strategies as your child grows. And reach out for virtual care and parent coaching from the Poppins experts if you need a little extra support—we’re here for you!

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