The Parenting Playbook for Having Uncomfortable Conversations with Confidence

Some conversations with kids are easy. What's for dinner? What happened at school today? Anything you'd like to do on the weekend?

But then, there are those other conversations. The ones that make you hesitate and sweat a little. The topics you don't like talking about in general, let alone with your kids.

The thing is, like most hard stuff in life, you've got to face them head-on. The conversations that make you squirm? Avoiding them won't make them go away. And being unprepared will only increase the awkwardness.

So, how do you practice difficult conversations with your child? Why is it so hard to talk to kids about certain topics? And most importantly, how do you keep a conversation going with kids when you'd rather crawl under a blanket and hide away forever?

Yep. We know exactly how you feel. This ultimate playbook is here to make the awkward and uncomfortable a little bit easier.

Here's how to have tough conversations with your kids.

Why Difficult Conversations Matter

Kids are curious, and we love them for it. When they start talking, the questions just keep coming. "Why is the sky blue?" somehow evolves into "Where do babies come from?" which eventually leads to "What happens when we die?". How you navigate each question will vary, but there are some important general guidelines to keep in mind.

Honesty

So what do you do when the tough questions start rolling in? Stay open and honest. 

Kids know more than we think they do—and if they don't get answers from you, they'll get them somewhere else (Google, friends, or that one kid on the bus who is way too informed).

Being honest (even when it's uncomfortable) and consistent builds trust. Kids don't need all the gory details, but they do need to feel like they can come to you for real answers, not half-truths or awkward deflections.

Don’t Deflect

Speaking of deflection, don’t avoid the topic. Silence can't protect your kid. If anything, it leaves them in the dark—Confused, maybe anxious, and most certainly misinformed.

In fact, research from the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) shows that addressing difficult topics early—in an age-appropriate way—helps prevent misinformation and reduces anxiety.

When kids know they can ask hard questions and get honest, thoughtful answers, they're more likely to open up, and keep talking to you as they grow. This doesn't mean you have to have all the answers (spoiler: you won't), but being open and validating their curiosity is enough.

Common Uncomfortable Topics Parents Face

Every parent eventually faces the conversation that makes them want to run for the hills. Here are a few of the big ones and how to handle them like a pro.

Talking About Body Changes and Puberty

Puberty is a huge milestone in child development. You might be wondering, "How do I extend and deepen conversations with children about this without making it awkward?"

Our advice:

• Start early. Don't wait until puberty hits like a freight train. Begin with simple conversations about body changes when they're young.
• Normalize it. If you treat it like an embarrassing secret, they will, too. Make it a casual, ongoing discussion.
• Use Resources. Let age-appropriate books help guide the conversation. Kids love hearing information from sources other than their parents.

Addressing Death and Grief in an Age-Appropriate Way

Death is tough to talk about, but shielding kids from it can make it even harder for them to process grief.

Here are a few tips:

• Be honest but gentle. Say, "Grandma's body stopped working" instead of "She went to sleep," which can be confusing and make kids afraid of bedtime.
• Encourage questions. They might ask the same thing over and over. That's okay. Repetition helps them process.
• Don’t hide emotion. Remember, it's okay for them to see you sad—it shows them that grieving is normal.

Discussing Difficult Current Events

War, violence, natural disasters. If it's on the news, kids will likely hear about it in some form or another. Keep discussions calm and use language they'll understand:

• Ask what they already know. This helps you correct misinformation without overwhelming them.
• Emphasize that they are safe. Reassure them about what's being done to keep them safe.
• Offer ways to help them process. If it makes sense, talk about ways to help, like donating to relief efforts.

Conversations About Race, Inclusion, and Diversity

Racism and inequality aren't easy topics, but waiting for kids to bring them up means they might not get the right information at all. Try this:

• Use real-world examples. Books, TV shows, and everyday moments can spark conversations.
• Emphasize empathy. Help them understand fairness and kindness.
• Be direct. Kids see differences—ignoring them doesn't make them disappear.

Tackling the Birds and the Bees Without Awkwardness

If you're sweating right now just reading about this one, take a deep breath. How do you have hard conversations with family about sex and relationships without making it cringe-worthy?

• Short and sweet is fine. No need for a TED Talk. Answer their question and move on.
• Use real words. If they're old enough to ask, they're old enough to hear "penis" and "vagina" instead of "down there."
• Keep the door open. This shouldn't be a one-time talk. Make it an ongoing conversation.

The Dos and Don'ts of Navigating Tough Conversations

Do: Listen Before Reacting

Before launching into a long explanation, ask them what they already know. This prevents over-explaining or giving them more than they wanted.

"Don't be afraid of long silences.” says Dr. Kalil, child development and parenting expert who directs the Behavioral Insights and Parenting Lab at the University of Chicago and key advisor on the Poppins team. “Sometimes, children, especially younger ones, need time to think before they answer. Try not to interrupt with another question while you wait for them to respond." 

Don't: Overload Them with Information

Answer just what they asked. If they want more details, they'll ask.

Do: Use Clear, Age-Appropriate Language

A 5-year-old and a 15-year-old don't need the same level of detail. Keep it simple when they're young and share more as they grow.

Don't: Dismiss or Avoid Hard Questions

Saying, "You'll understand when you're older" teaches them not to ask. If you're unsure how to answer, say, "That's a great question. Let me think about it and get back to you."

Expert-Approved Strategies for Confidence

Let's wrap up with a couple of confidence-boosting tips so you can become one of those parents who can talk to their kids about anything and everything.

Tip 1: Use Books and Resources as Conversation Starters

Kids' books and purpose-made resources exist for a reason. They introduce topics in a way that feels natural and not like a lecture.

Tip 2: Rehearse What You Want to Say (It Helps!)

It might feel silly, but practicing difficult conversations ahead of time can help you feel more confident.

Tip 3: Staying Calm, Even When You're Uncomfortable

Fake it til you make it! Kids take behavioral and emotional cues from you. If you're panicked, they'll be too.

Final Thoughts: You've Got This

Nobody has all the answers, not even moms and dads. Saying, "I'm not sure, but let's find out together," teaches kids that learning never stops.

And remember, the first time is the hardest. You'll make fewer communication mistakes as time goes on. And as a bonus, the more you talk, the stronger your bond becomes.

Relationships really are built on honesty. Hard conversations with kids show that no topic is off-limits. No matter what, you are their safe space.

If you’re interested in more help on how to talk to your kids about difficult topics, Poppins is here to help. Our expert parent coaches can help you develop the tools and craft a plan to tackle any topic with confidence.

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